Momma Jayd

But really... not much has changed. Still waiting for AF to rear her ugly head, but so far I've just had lots of EWCM. I bought a test today for the morning, but I didn't realize that it wasn't a very sensitive one until I got it home... So even if I do test in the morning I don't know how accurate it's going to be. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to wait and see!

...But it was to be expected this early in the game. I'm still holding out hope. I'm 10 dpo today, but I haven't tested. I'm going to wait until tomorrow morning, then test with another Dollarama test. I got a pack of 2 digitals, so if I see a hint of a line then I'm prepared! lol. Fingers still crossed!

Sorry it's so blurry, it's from my cell phone.

...and I just don't know what to think. I did get a line, and it showed up before the time limit. At first I thought that maybe, just maybe, it was a faint faint positive because I could see some color to it... But I'm thinking that maybe it was just the dye from the test itself. I can kind of see color to it, but I just don't know... But I'm not giving up hope yet, it's still early. I'm only 9dpo.... I'm just annoyed because I got a little hopeful there. lol. Most of the ladies on TPF that seen the picture seem to think that it is possibly a BFP, and that makes me kind of hopeful! But I also don't want to get too excited, just in case it isn't. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings! I'll be keeping my fingers, toes and eyes crossed until then. ;)

It's very hard to see here because the picture is too small, but this is the test from this morning...

I finally got my letter in the mail from Mia-Angel. I have already done everything the letter asked me to, except put some silver coins under my mattress... which will have to wait because my daughter is taking a nap. lol. The charm is cute... it`s a little cat carved out of snow quartz. I had a string necklace that the charm had fallen off, so I just attached it to that and hung it around my neck. She said it can take anywhere from a couple weeks to 9 months for the spell to work, and that she would recast every 12 weeks if I wanted her to during that time period... Well, she cast the spell the night before I ovulated this cycle, so I guess now it`s just a waiting game. :)

This is the charm... You can`t really tell very well from this picture, but there are details etched into the stone as well. It`s actually pretty cute.

Cute story... After I got the package I was pretty excited. I took out the charm and passed it to our daughter to look at, and I told her that this was supposed to help bring her a brother or sister. She held it up, kissed it, and held it out to Daddy. She then got him to kiss it, and then she held it up to me and made kissy noises, so I kissed it too. She`s such a little doll... I know she doesn`t actually understand. She loves cats, that`s why she was getting us to kiss it. But the timing was just too adorable, and it melted my heart nonetheless. :)

Well, on 6dpo I had a pretty big dip in my temp.... so big that my crosshairs actually disappeared. But then this morning, 7dpo, there was a HUGE spike and my crosshairs are back again... I've been doing a little bit of research, and I've found that the dip could possibly be an implantation dip. And the temp rise could be due to the progesterone produced in early pregnancy, or the HCG. So hopefully it's a good sign, but I'm not going to get my hopes up... or at least I'm going to try not to. lol. But either way hopefully my temp will stay up tomorrow!

Here are a couple excerpts from things I've found on the internet...

This one is from Amazing Pregnancy...
"Some women may notice a second rise in temperature around the time of implantation. This typically would occur around 6 days after ovulation. This is referred to as a triphasic pattern. In some rare cases, a woman may notice that her temp stays higher after ovulation, but will slightly dip around 6 days after ovulation; this also can be an indication that implantation has occurred."

And this is from Fertility Friend...
"A triphasic chart can be promising, however, because progesterone levels generally increase after implantation (7-10 days past ovulation) in conception cycles, and sometimes this results in a triphasic pattern. If your chart shows a second significant thermal shift that begins 7-10 days past ovulation, Fertility Friend will indicate a triphasic pattern in the Pregnancy Monitor. A triphasic chart, however, is not a definite sign that you are or are not pregnant. It is just increasing your probability if you also have well-timed intercourse. Likewise, you can be pregnant and not have a triphasic pattern. Like all signs of possible implantation or pregnancy, you can really only speculate about it once a pregnancy has already been confirmed."

...Fingers Crossed!!!

I finally got my crosshairs on Fertility Friend! I was pretty discouraged when I put my temp in this morning and they didn't show up... But when I got up this morning I took a look at my chart and I realized that I had put in the wrong number! So I changed it to the right one, and low and behold my crosshairs popped up! I'm so excited! My first crosshairs! That means that today I am 5dpo... Only another 5 before I can start testing. lol. Fingers crossed we caught the egg!

I recently told Kiwi that someday Mommy is going to have a baby in her belly that is going to grow up and be her brother or sister. I know that she is only 18 months old and doesn't get the concept, but now she will randomly kiss or tap my belly and say "Baby!' It is too cute. I keep telling her, "No baby yet, but there will be one there someday." She has recently taken to toting her baby dolls around the house. She cuddles them, rocks them, kisses them, and even "burps" them. And she LOVES taking them for rides up and down the hallway in their stroller. It melts my heart. She is going to make a spectacular big sister when the time comes. I can't wait... :)

I honestly don't know how people can stand the two week wait. I want to test. NOW. Even though I know there is no possible way that I would get a positive. It's wayyy to early. But I'm seriously about to start peeing on cut up strips of paper and pretending that it's a HPT.... Just kidding. But I think this is going to be the longest two weeks of my life.

Well, my temp stayed up! It didn't raise any higher, but it didn't drop either. Hopefully tomorrow I will have my Crosshairs on FF! I'm having some slight cramping/aching on my right side, but I'm 99% sure I ovulated two days ago. Is it possible to get cramps after ovulation? I'm still so new to keeping tabs on my body like this every little twinge and tickle has got me questioning what is going on. lol.

In other news, still no letter in the mail as of yesterday... I haven't gotten to the mailbox yet today. Maybe there will be a surprise waiting for me! :) I can't wait to see what the charm looks like.

Well, it looks like the last scratch ticket was right at least when it said "Fertile"... Pretty sure I ovulated last night! I noticed that I had a lot of stretchy EWCM a bit later last night, and when I temped this morning the temperature spiked up above the previous six temps, so it looks promising! And our BD timing was pretty great the last few days! So if my temperature stays up over the next couple days I should get my Crosshairs of Fertility Friend. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the other two tickets are going to prove to be fortune tellers and that my "Egg" will "Implant" and in 40-ish weeks I will go into "Labor." :D

My fiance, we'll call him Chaz, bought me a scratch ticket today. I had just started scratching it when something caught my eye... Fourth row down going across.

Now, if that wasn't enough, Chaz won on his ticket. He then bought each of us another ticket. I once again got another crossword. Guess what it said? Take a look three rows down and you will see what I mean.

What a freaking coincidence, right? Well, hold on to your hats, because it gets better! I sent Chaz to town to get milk for our daughter (Whom we will call Kiwi from here on out) and he came back with another scratch ticket for me because, once again, he won on his. Well, low and behold, there was another word waiting for me! Take a look at this little gem... Fifth row, going down.

I swear to you I am NOT making this up. lol. This is just friggin hilarious. The funniest thing is... We pretty much NEVER buy scratch tickets. Once in a blue moon maybe. The only reason he kept buying them is because he kept doubling what he spent on the tickets. lol.

I think someone up above is playing mind games with me.

Please give me an ovulation temperature spike in the morning. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Wants Her Body Working Properly For Once.

I'm on Cycle Day 28, 14 days after AF ended, and I still haven't ovulated to my knowledge... Looking at my temperatuew chart I highly doubt I did. Anyhow, today I had some watery, redish, brownish, pinkish spotting with a tiny, itty bitty little clot in it (Which I guess could have been left over from AF? I don't know). There was enough of it to leave an inch-ish round spot in my underwear, but after wiping a couple times there was nothing left, and there hasn't been anything since. I`m confused to what it could be. At first I thought maybe AF was starting, but after no more signs of spotting for over 6 hours I`m not so sure it is... I`ve also read up on Ovulation Bleeding... It`s not common, but it can happen. And then there is Implantation Bleeding, which I highly doubt because I`m almost positive I did not ovulate yet. I asked the ladies on TPF but they came up with the same answers I did... I`m not surprised, though. There isn`t much else that mid-cycle bleeding could be. If it is AF then I hope that this is just my cycle working itself out after the Provera so that I can get back on track and actually ovulate next month. Wish me Luck!

Well, Mia-Angel got back to us! She did our Casting on Sunday night, and she was supposed to be shipping out our instructions and talismans on Monday morning! I`m pretty excited to get it. :) My Best Friend, let`s call her Cara for privacy sake, was mentioning to me that a lot of the lucky ladies on the forums she was reading up on seen frogs around the time thier packages were delivered, and I guess that is supposed to be a good omen. I`ve been keeping my eyes open for frogs... and I seen one! On my Mother In-Laws fridge. It was a marnet. lol. Too bad I didn`t get the letter in the mail that day... Oh well, guess I`ll just have to keep a lookout for them! Too bad this is the dead of winter... This little escapade might have been easier in the spring or summer...

We have a beautiful 18 month old daughter named Kyliegh Elizabeth, and she is our world. When I was 39 weeks pregnant with her I had to be induced for PIH, or Pregnancy Induced Hypertension. I had a Doctor’s appointment that morning, and when I got there and they checked my Blood Pressure I was informed I would be having a baby. I was ecstatic. I went upstairs to L&D to get situated while my fiance, Charles, went home to get the Hospital Bag. For 12 hours I labored naturally before finally agreeing to the epidural (Which I was reluctant to get, but they seemed adamant. I didn’t realizing it at the time, but I think they had already decided what was coming.) and all was good for a little while. But then the epidural started to wear off on one side, and my Blood Pressure decided to spike a little. It was then that they said the words I had been dreading… “C-Section.” The funny thing is, though, is that I had been dreading it for all the wrong reasons. I was scared of the physical pain it would cause me. But by that point in time I was so exhausted and in enough pain that I just didn’t care, I wanted labour to be done. So I signed the papers and they whisked me off to the OR. At 3:35am my daughter was born. I was so doped up on medications that I could barely even focus on her, but I could hear her cry. That was all that mattered, and I was wheeled into recovery with a smile on my face. Those first few days flew by in a blur, and I didn’t know at the time the emotional toll my birth experience was going to play on me. Throughout my entire pregnancy I had visions of the birth… Of holding Charles’ hand as I worked through the pain, holding my daughter as soon as she was born, getting to breastfeed right away… I never envisioned being strapped to a table, so doped up that I could barely make out her face before she was whisked off. I didn’t see my daughter for two hours after she was born. Two. Hours. I missed the first hour of my daughter’s life. I know in the grand scheme of things that really isn’t all that important, and she obviously wont remember. But to me it’s still important, and I missed it. I know that it was the best thing to do for me and my daughter, and I hold no regrets. I would do it again in a heartbeat. But I still mourn for the birth experience I wanted but never got.

I was hoping for a tempurature spike today, which would mean I ovulated. I was almost positive that it was "O" time... But it only went up by 0.04 of a degree. This is only my first month temping, so I am by far not an expert on the topic. but I don't think that's enough of a jump. It's kind of depressing, really... I'm already on CD 25... I'm only, like, 10 or 11 days past my period so it makes sense that this wouldn't be it, but still... I was sure. It seems like it's taking forever. *sigh* Oh well. Hopefully soon! This whole waiting thing is driving me insane...

That having an orgasm either just before or at the same time as your partner orgasms is supposed to up your chances of having a boy? And that not orgasming during sex is likely to up your chances of having a girl? ((That explains a lot, actually.)) Apparently it has something to do with the speed at which male and female sperms swim and the acidic levels in the vagina... Well, if at all possible, we'd like a boy this time. :) Hahaha. Anyways, here is a little more insight into it...

"The idea behind the Shettles Method of sex selection is based on the premise that the X and Y chromosome carrying sperm have different characteristics and that under different circumstances either X- or Y-chromosome-carrying sperm will be more likely to fertilize the egg.

The Y-chromosome-carrying sperm are said to:

be faster and smaller than the X-chromosome carrying sperm.
die faster than the X-chromosome-carrying sperm.

The X-chromosome-carrying sperm are said to:

be slower than the Y-chromosome carrying sperm.
be better able to withstand the acidic cervical environment before fertile cervical fluid is produced.

Based on these premises, according to Shettles, you can time intercourse, choose a sexual position that favors conception of your preferred sex and influence the reproductive environment to increase the likelihood of conceiving your preferred sex. These are the suggestions from Dr. Shettles:

To Get A Boy (According to Shettles):

Time intercourse as close to ovulation as possible: The idea is that since the Y-chromosome sperm are faster than the X-chromosome sperm, there will be more Y-chromosome sperm who reach the egg, making it more likely that a Y-chromosome carrying sperm will fertilize the egg.
Abstain from intercourse for four to five days prior to ovulation. Have intercourse only just at the time of ovulation and just before.
Have intercourse that allows for deep penetration. Shettles recommends rear-entry (aka, “doggy-style”). The idea is that the sperm will be deposited closer to the cervix where cervical fluid is most friendly to the Y-chromosome sperm and where the “boy sperm” are more likely to survive since there is less distance to travel.
Men avoid tight clothes: heat kills off both types of sperm, but will kill off the less protected, smaller Y-chromosome sperm faster, according to Shettles.
Women have an orgasm: According to Shettles, female orgasm increases the alkaline secretions in the vagina that are favorable to the Y-chromosome carrying sperm. Shettles recommends having an orgasm before or at the same time as the male partner.

To Get a Girl (According to Shettles):

Have intercourse 2-3 days before ovulation and avoid intercourse just before ovulation until 2 days after ovulation and when you have peak cervical fluid: The idea is that when you have sex a few days before ovulation, only the X-chromosome “girl sperm” will be left in the female reproductive tract waiting to fertilize the egg when it is released.
Have intercourse with shallow penetration: Shettles recommends “missionary position”or any position that will deposit the sperm slightly away from the cervix, giving advantage to the longer living, but slower X-chromosome-carrying sperm.
Women avoid orgasm: Shettles suggests women avoid orgasm because it makes the vaginal environment more alkaline, and less acidic and is disadvantageous to the X-chromosome “girl sperm”."

Me and one of my Best Friends bought a spell on eBay. That's right. A spell. From a one Mia-Angel. After doing some research I learned that she actually came highly reccomended, has a high satisfaction rate, and was actually featured in a Pregnancy magazine. Pretty cool, huh? I know some people think it's a bunch of Mumbo-Jumbo, and maybe it is. But after a few years of studying Wicca when I was in highschool I don't think it's any more far fetched than Catholicism. In fact in some cases it may even be less far fetched... But that's another discussion for another time and place. ;) The spell only cost me $12 and has a money back guarantee, so I figure... What the heck? I don't really have much to lose, and I have a ton to gain. When speaking to Mrs. Mia before purchasing the spell I was informed that all I had to do was believe... And since I already think that at least 95% of our physical afflictions and what have you can somewhat be controlled by the brain and what you believe I have full faith in her. I am currently awaiting a confirmation email from her so that I know she got all my information correctly, and then I'll be waiting for my Charm and Instructions to come in the mail. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes from there.

And so they start.... again. When I was pregnant with my daughter all I dreamed about was babies. Cute babies, ugly babies, kitten babies, babies with octopus legs, evil babies, angel babies... If you can think it and add "babies" onto the end then I probably dreamed it. Then when I started trying for our second 10 months ago I started having POAS (Pee On A Stick) dreams where I would get a positive on a test. Then I would wake up and be crushed. And it's starting again... Last night I had another POAS dream. Although in this one I peed on two sticks, and the first one (for some reason that is beyond me) got melted. But it wasn't burnt... just melted. And I could vaugely see a little pink plus sign in the mangled plastic. Now, why there was a pink plus sign I don't know, because I've never seen pink dye tests with plus signs around here anywhere. But I digress. So after seeing the mangled pink plus sign I immediately took another, and low and behold there was another positive! Rah Rah Rah! And the dream ended with me in a musical about a princess, but it wasn't really a musical it was real, and blardy blardy blardy... It wasn't really important. Even during the rest of the dream all I could focus on was "I'm Pregnant!" Aaaannnnnndddd then my alarm went off. *sigh* Well, it was good while it lasted. :)

I had an appointment with my OBGYN just to check in and make sure all my tests came back okay... and they did! He gave us the green light to go ahead and start TTC last time we were there, but I wasn't really holding out much hope of actually being able to try until all of my tests came back perfect. Not a single hormone level out of whack, not one fillopian tube out of place.. apparently my baby-bits are in 100% working order. Which is great news... but the BEST news that I recieved was when I asked him his stance on VBAC's (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). I asked him if they allow them at our hospital and if he's comfortable with them, and his response was, "Oh yes, all the time! It's standard procedure with me." That one little sentence? Made. My. Day. I was literally about to start tearing up I was so happy. I don't think I realized just how important a VBAC was to me until that point in time. I mean, I knew I wanted one but I figured I could live wsithout it... but when he said those words it was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders that I didn't even know was there. I have already started doing a little bit of research on VBAC's and how to be successful. I'm really hoping that I can make it work.

Wish me luck!

Especially since our daughter is only 18 months old. So I only can imagine how crazy they'd think we are to know that we actually started trying for number two when she was 8 months old, only to have our plans foiled by numerous medical issues on my part. It all started in a painful lump that my Family Physician thought was a hernia, and ended in a two month long period... Of course there was lots in between and those two things aren't connected, but that's the gist of it. In the end there is apparently no cause for sed painful lump, and the period thing was cured with some progesterone. So now I'm apparently a functioning member of society again. Which means baby time is back on, and we couldn't be happier!

We are officially trying for our second baby.

I'm eccstatic and nervous... eccstatic for the obvious reasons... nervous for many. How long will it take? How will my daughter adjust to having a sibling? How much will our lives change? Can I love another child as much as I love my daughter? These, and many more, are the questions I will have to work through from now until the time I'm giving birth.

Momma Jayd

It's been a few days...

BFN on the Digital...

Tested at 9dpo...

It's here!

Dip & Spike...

Crosshairs!

Awe, my little baby Momma Bear...

The waiting is the worst...

2 DPO?

Temperature Spike!!!

Signs from the "Powers That Be."

Dear Pregnancy Gods...

Don`t know what to make of it yet...

It`s on it`s way!

Why I want a VBAC...

"O" My...

Did you know...

♪ ♫ I Put A Spell On You... ♫ ♪

Oh, dreams...

Eccstatic.

Some people think we're crazy...

And so it begins...