Feeling kind of "iffy"...

I'm feeling kind of "iffy" about our chance of conception this month. I usually don't ovulate until at LEAST CD20... So I completely was not expecting it at CD 16. We almost didn't even have sex that day, but I noticed some EWCM (just a teensy weensy bit) that day, so I made sure we did just in case, not expecting it to be an issue. We also had sex 2 days before ovulation, and the day after... But usually we have sex every 24ish hours for a few days leading up to ovulation, the day of ovulation, and the day after... I don't know. I suppose anything is possible. I just wished we had of timed it better...

Whelmed...

I don't know if I'm overwhelmed or underwhelmed... I'm kinda bouncing back and forth between the two, so I'm just going to use the term "whelmed." This whole TTC mess is really starting to take it's toll on me... So much so that I told both my SIL (so essentially my whole family) and DH's SIL (so essentially HIS whole family) that we initially started trying over a year and nine months ago and are having a rough time just so everyone would stop saying, "Oh, it's time for another one!" or "Time for Kiwi to have a little brother or sister, don't you think?" We wanted another since Kiwi was 8 months old... Thanks for reminding me that I'm failing. I always get the random urge to burst out into tears without so much as a warning these days. It's so stupid. I'm so frustrated with myself for feeling this way, but I can't help it. I know I just need to have faith, but I'm having trouble holding onto whatever shreds of it are left. I feel bad for feeling like this because I know there are people who have tried much longer than I have. I try to consume my time with Kiwi and household projects and whatever else I can, and that used to work great, but I find it creeping into my mind more and more as we creep ever closer to that 2 year mark.

HSG

The HSG went well... No blockages! Which means no surgery! Which is a huge bonus. But now I still don't know why I'm not conceiving... Only 2 more tries left.

Update...

It's been a while since I last posted. I got discouraged after the drop in temp and kind of avoided pregnancy related stuff for a while. Obviously last month I got a BFN. I was supposed to get a HSG, but thanks to a crappy shedule at my hospital they weren't able to fit me in on time, so if I don't get pregnant this month then I'll be getting the HSG. I'm slightly freaking out that I have a blockage from my C-Section and that's why I haven't gotten pregnant yet. I don't know how I'd handle that information. I don't even know what they'd have to do in that situation to fix it, but I'm willing to bet that it would mean a break in TTC. We picked up some Pre-Seed when we were in the city and tried it out this cycle, so hopefully that ups our chances a tiny bit. If we don't get pregnant this cycle we only have November and December left before we have to take a break from the clomid. :( After that I'm not sure if I'll want to continue with the clomid or if I'll want to try a different route... maybe injectables? I guess I'll just have to wait and see what the future holds, but hopefully I wont have to make that decision.